So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?