My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.