so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
