wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
