If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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