This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Screwed.edu
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
