Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
