Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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