Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
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