God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
