I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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