I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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