She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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