Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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