drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
