He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
