I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
