brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she told me i tasted like america
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
