okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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