There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
