Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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