my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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