Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize