o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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