I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
