She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
