coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
