Got a toothbrush?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
