Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
