i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
