time to smoke my breakfast
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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