Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
