he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he fucked my hip out of place.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
