lets start a swedish sibling band together
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
