Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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