Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
