I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
