You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize