omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I think my moral compass just broke
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
