i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
