ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
