haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
