Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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