you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
