I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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