Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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