You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
