What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
