YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
