Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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