so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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