Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
