3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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