I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
