I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
