What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
